I initially wrote this as part of a speech to read out to Kristy on her 40th birthday, but the opportunity to have speeches didn't present itself at that wonderful evening! I felt that I wanted to surprise her with this post, so I've just kept it quietly here, waiting for the chance to spring it upon her. Well, she's collapsed on the bed asleep after another long day at work, so I think that this qualifies as a time when she will be surprised to see a post extolling her many virtues appear. Also, there's been too many horrible events lately and we need an antidote to all that pain and anguish.
Looking at the outpourings of compliments that have accompanied Gough Whitlam into his grave, it occurs to me that too often we wait until someone who is dear to us has gone before we express how we feel about them.
I don't want Kristy to have that experience, so I took the opportunity to contact many of her friends , family and colleagues and asked them to to share some of their thoughts about what makes Kristy special and what they appreciate about her.
The response was wonderful! Thanks to all who sent something! It's been a privilege and a pleasure to read these little missives, and to discover that other people see in Kristy the wonderful things that Cassie and I see in her.
I'm not going to identify the people that I am quoting although I think they will recognise themselves and I expect Kristy will usually know who has said what :)
I have edited people's comments lightly, one advantage of writing a blog post instead of giving a speech was that I could quote extensively whereas for the speech I had simply selected some representative quotes.
Kristy, here are some of the thoughts of the people in your life:
"When I first met dear Kristy, I thought she had no sense of humour and was unable to get on with the general public, but having seen beyond the facade I have seen Kristy the compassionate, the loyalist, the team player who never bad mouths others or lies and actually possesses a very warped sense of humour. Seeing these qualities helps me forget my anger as she hangs up on me routinely! I salute you Kristy with your charms *and* your shortcomings."
"Kristy has a lovely heart, a little tough on the outside but soft on the inside, a true friend."
" Kristy, you have a big personality in a quiet way, I love your no bull approach. You're interesting, smart, great to talk to and all round great company!"
" I like the love you put into the food you cook."
"Kristy, you are a kind and generous person with a big heart. You are a loyal and caring person to family and friends alike."
" You're there to help without even needing to be asked."
"Kristy's a great friend and I value her very much, she's always been fun to be around - being a fellow geek girl we've headed off for adventures, sci-fi conventions and yum-cha. She shows her care and love for others and how she values her friends and family through all the organising of things that she does, whether it's craft days, parties or Games Nights. I think she throws herself into everything she does - hardworking wife, mother, Mum, Aunty, friend and gardener."
"You put so much love and generosity into the food that you cook for people. I love and appreciate your cooking"
"Kristy makes an awesome meatloaf."
"She's just a very thoughtful, caring, person."
"She's caring, creative, friendly and well, I just love it when she takes care of me and takes me to yum cha!"
"She's a very loving person who takes me to fun places!"
"Kristy is a beautiful soul, she is extremely kind and often puts others ahead of herself, she's hardworking and does everything she can to support her family. A loving and supportive sister, she's always been there to help without being asked, she shows her generosity with her yummy 'care packages' that the whole family have loved!"
"Kristy's kind and a great mother, I am proud of the way she works hard to help with the life of her family. She has a good sense of humour and she's loyal, always was. She's very forgiving when things go wrong and I love her to bits!"
"You are hard working and very determined, when you get an idea you won't give up until you achieve your goal. She always gives 100 percent to commitment, I couldn't be any prouder of her and I love her with all my heart. She deserves the best."
It wasn't all bouquets my love, your occasional willingness to call a spade a bloody shovel was noted, but your willingness to stand up for yourself and the true softness that lies beneath was noted too.
On the other hand, one of my friends felt that he missed a real opportunity when he didn't go after you! He never had a chance anyway, I'd have done anything to win your love!
These are the words of those who know you best and love you for who you are, because who you are is so much. It is, indeed, more than enough.
Kristy, the day you sent me that RSVP kiss was the dividing day in my life, separating my life into BK (Before Kristy) and AK (After Kristy). AK has been the most wonderful time of my life.
The moment I saw your profile, I knew that if you were who you said you were, then there was real potential there. I didn't know then, but do now, that you are remarkably free from artifice or pretense. What you see is what you get. Which is fairly true of me too, but even more so of you. I'd looked at thousands of profiles over the years on RSVP and dated many women from it. Yours was the first profile I ever sent to my closest friends, telling them this one looked really good. Sometimes you can just tell. 6 months later we were engaged and Cassie, unbeknown to us, was on the way.
I feel privileged that I get to spend part of every day with you, I feel joy to know that of all the people in the world, it's my bed that you choose to share. I know that someone there loves me for who I am and loves me unconditionally.
Kristy, I love how you make me laugh, I am thankful for how tolerant you are of my many foibles and flaws, I love seeing you express your love for Cassie and watching how excited she is when she's spending time with Mummy.
I appreciate you for keeping an ear open when I go into one of my rambling raves and just have to have an ear to bash! I bore you often, yet I find out later that you have invariably listened to my rants and thought about them too. I'm thankful for how you support me and believe in me, that can make all the difference.
You've got the most wonderful hands, very soft, smooth, warm and I love them. We hold hands when we walk together and I feel a little thrill when I hear you at the door after your day's work.
I like it when you're in your creative moods and making things, I think you're at your best when you're doing things. You like to keep busy and you have certainly succeeded at that. Cassie loves spending time with you, and so do I! I love how we like to be close to each other even when we're both doing our own thing. My computer will always be in the loungeroom because I want to be close to you, not hiding away from you.
I respect you for your willingness to discuss issues and to work on our relationship every day. Making our relationship work every day has been a big priority for both of us and is, I think, a big part of the reason why we are happy together. Living with you continues to be an experience that makes my life better and more enjoyable than it was before, you give me space to be myself and to relax and you rarely try to control or change me.
Nevertheless, you have changed me, I think I am more sensitive and understanding than I was when we started. I am certainly more content in myself and confident in myself. That's what having the love of a good woman has done for me. You are, and always will be, my good woman and I love you very much.
Happy Birthday Kristy!
Your loving husband,
Lindsay
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